“Oh God, remove the veils, that I might see what is really happening here, and not be intoxicated by my stories and my fears.”–Elizabeth Lisser
Tara Brach quoted this prayer in the podcast I listened to yesterday. I seized upon it immediately.
I had no idea.
The answer came quickly. First thing this morning, in fact. I spent half the night awake wallowing in anger, and woke to a thick, dark cloud of guilt.
Not long after, I googled a short phrase that I kept circling back to, and read the first article it pulled up (on Psychology Today, of all places, but hey). I saw myself. I was stunned and almost shaking the whole morning.
I have, indeed, been intoxicated by my own stories, in particular the story that my anger justifies my actions.
And I can’t stop thinking of a line by Thomas Hardy–“if way to the Better there be, it exacts a full look at the Worst.”
Not in self-flagellation, but in honest reflection. So as painful and ugly as the answers are and will be, I need this prayer by my side.