” . . . the inviolable, intraversable, and utterly vast spaces between us.” – Marilynne Robinson, Gilead
“How selfhood begins with a walking away,
And love is proved in the letting go.”
I’m sitting alone in the good Starbucks (e.g. the one in the old, rich part of town) with the prospect of a weekend alone ahead of me. Really alone. My spouse just left on a weekend trip, and I have no social commitments for the next forty-eight hours.
It feels amazing. To be with my own thoughts, follow my own schedule–sometimes I forget what it’s like to just be with myself.
You see, I used to think that if I held onto others–friends, family, spouse–tightly enough, I would be safe. I would be something fixed, solid, stable. Rooted.
It’s just recently I’ve come to realize–you can only root yourself.