Coffee Shop Thoughts

”  . . . the inviolable, intraversable, and utterly vast spaces between us.” – Marilynne Robinson, Gilead

“How selfhood begins with a walking away,
And love is proved in the letting go.”
-Cecil Day-Lewis

***

I’m sitting alone in the good Starbucks (e.g. the one in the old, rich part of town) with the prospect of a weekend alone ahead of me. Really alone. My spouse just left on a weekend trip, and I have no social commitments for the next forty-eight hours.

It feels amazing. To be with my own thoughts, follow my own schedule–sometimes I forget what it’s like to just be with myself.

You see, I used to think that if I held onto others–friends, family, spouse–tightly enough, I would be safe. I would be something fixed, solid, stable. Rooted.

It’s just recently I’ve come to realize–you can only root yourself.

treegoldenfield
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